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do you see anyone other than me? (baby please) | rafayel (lnds)
✮ tags ; rafayel x fem+ afab!reader, established relationships, dom!reader, sub!rafayel, gentle femdom, oral (m!recieving + some f!recieving), anal (m!recieving), praise kink (so much), dirty talk (SO much),pegging / topping, top!reader, bottom!rafayel dry orgasms 18+
✮ wc ; 6.9k (come on man)
✮ a/n ; reader and mc do not share a personality in this. reader is intentionally meant to have like... a more serious personality. so they are mc but not at the same time if that makes sense sdkjskj.
also i know this guy but only a little bit. i was planning on binging the main story after caleb got released but got ?? caught up writing this?? this has happened twice im so scared
✮ synopsis ; making sure rafayel actually forgives you is at the top of your priorities.
When you come home from the office, take your shoes off, and turn the corner into the living room—you know without looking that Rafayel is in a mood.
Not a good one.
It’s something in the air, a lingering tension that makes all movement stiff as you attempt to navigate through the unease. You find Rafayel on the couch. Soft, deep lavender waves tussled like he’s been tossing and turning - pressed into the side of the couch. All curled up small.
Somehow, you just know what sort of attitude you’ll be met with. You know your lover well enough to know that he’ll be moody but you’ve less confidence in regards to what that mood may be.
Taking a deep breath, you step into the wide expanse of Rafayel’s living room and studio. His head turns, bangs falling in his face as you slide your work bag off from your shoulder to set aside. Your keys, noisy as you set them down, even gently—trying to leave the air undisturbed. He’s looking at you from over his shoulder but realizes he can’t completely see you that way. Instead of standing to his feet to come greet you, he drops his head back on the arm of the couch to stare at you upside down in a tense silence.
You give him a look. His mood is sour. Maybe more than you thought. He smiles first, then frowns unhappily before turning his attention back to what he was doing. You hear small scratching noises—he’s sketching. You wonder how long he’s been sitting there doing that, since he usually just prefers to paint without thinking too hard.
After that, he doesn’t look at you. He doesn’t greet you, either.
“I’m home.” You say evenly. You think about being placating from the jump, but without knowing his exact reason - you worry you’ll only worsen the state of affairs.
Rafayel hums. “Welcome home.”
Your brain wracks through every possibility on what could be the source of this level of moodiness. Sometimes, his moody behavior is for kicks but it’s not this time. If it was, he’d lay it on thickly. Act theatrically towards you, get in your face about it.
But he’s tense, forceful—every scratch of his pencil is too harsh like it’s rife with irritation. You tread carefully.
“Can I sit with you?”
“Why are you asking? Don’t you live here too? Just because I bought the couches with my money doesn’t mean—“
“Rafayel.” You say, interrupting him. He scowls at you. “Can I?”
As if more bothered by you being level, he huffs. It’s followed with a business smile over his shoulder. “Sure. Do whatever you want.”
You choose to sit on the empty end of the couch where Rafayel does his sketching - fitting yourself in the gap of his space near his feet. You slide yourself in then gently lift his legs into your lap. Rafayel gives you a look when you do this, clearly debating on whether or not he should reject your act of goodwill. Ultimately he stays.
Notably, while his pencil is still scratching on paper - you think by this point he’s not really sketching anything at all.
“I got off of work late,” You explain. You rest your hands on his calf gently. “There was an incident near the station but it was a false alarm so I ended up being cleared.”
“Oh? Is that so?”
Warm, you think. You nod.
“There’s been a lot of Metaflux increases in the residential districts close to our headquarters. It’s odd.” You explain. Rafayel is quiet, looking at his nails disinterested. You go on, not taking offense. “Strange as it is, there’s been no active threats. Still, given the location, it needs a lot of man power to be investigated.”
Rafayel sits quietly, unreadable. You continue on. “So it’s been busy. I think we’ve cleared the level of threat, so another team will probably take over soon.”
“Hm.” Rafayel says, a petulant edge to his voice. Warmer. “So that’s why you’ve been so late this week. I guess it’s good that nothing happened. It must’ve been difficult, so difficult if you could barely spend time with your one and only lover. But I guess it’s fine, it’s not like there’s anything you can do in that circumstances. Well, you could’ve done a lot but if it didn’t occur to you there’s nothing to be said, then again—why would it—“
Hot. “Rafayel.”
“What.”
“I’m sorry for being late,” You say.
A beat. His frown deepens.
“And?”
You pause before answering, smiling apologetically. “For not keeping in contact with you more.”
Some of the life returns to him. You’ve deduced the source of his bad mood, which means the only thing left is to alleviate it. You don’t like seeing him upset. He’s quick to forgive you, always optimistic and trying to keep your relationship lighthearted.
But there is an underlying desire in him that makes you more conscious about any minor infringements. Despite himself, Rafayel is more concerned about you liking him than he’ll ever let on in his life. Even when he’s upset, he’ll forgive you - but the feelings linger until they explode. When he gets like that, it’s much harder to comfort him.
It’ll fester if you don’t apologize properly. You know him well enough to know that and you love him well enough to not want to see when disaster strikes.
(Plus, there’s something about the way he’s still pouting. He’s trying to relax, but it’s there. It’s cute to you. It makes you want to kiss it better.)
“I’m sorry,” You offer. You reach for the hand resting in his lap and he lets you take it, though it’s limp. You press a kiss to the back of it, eyes full of affection. “I’m not used to having someone wait for me,”
Rafayel makes another face at you, unreadable. “Not just anyone.”
You laugh lightly. “That’s true.”
Squeezing his hand tighter, you kiss it one more time. “Can I make it up to you…?”
“I don’t know. Can you?”
“I’d like to,” You offer, another kiss - just higher on back of his hand. Closer towards his wrist. “Whatever you wanted.”
“Whatever I want is a tempting offer, Miss Bodyguard. What a talent for bargaining you have, indeed. Maybe you should try bidding a one of my auctions, just to see.”
“I’d bid too high off the bat. I’d go bankrupt,” You tease back, a sweet lilt to your voice that makes Rafayel’s eyes shimmer, fond of your wit. “Would you be willing to keep me if I gave it all up that way, I wonder?”
“Since it was for me, I could consider being merciful.”
You give him sincere but small smile and Rafayel seems to warm up seeing it. He can be coy, even playful about his affection but there’s something about him today that feels more shy then it does anything else.
“If I can ask for whatever I want,” Rafayel starts. “Maybe we could start with paying back your dues. After all you owe me your full undivided attention after your week of neglect.”
“That’s easy.” You say, charming. Rafayel makes a face at you that makes you want to laugh. “I wanted to give you that anyway. Is that all?”
“Are you telling me to be more demanding? You think that’s a wise choice?”
“If it makes you happy, I’ll play the fool.”
It’s corny, deliberately not something you’d say to anyone else or at any other time. Something that Rafayel might say to you in a different circumstance, so in a way you’ve simply beat him to the punch. He goes through several feelings, each passing over his expression. Amusement to disbelief to embarrassment even he can’t cover up too easily.
Great risk comes with great reward. Yours is a smiling Rafayel, boyish and amused. Color returned to him, a playful air of mischief about him.
“Well if you’re that desperate to make it up to me, then I guess I could try to forgive you. Gosh, you must be so desperate if you’re willing to act this way. You’ve totally fallen for me, haven’t you?”
Yes, you think. Too much of that at once and he’ll get shy again. You’ll have plenty of coaxing to do later so you keep the thought to yourself. You smile at him instead. “So, you’ve anymore demands for me, my liege?”
Rafayel hums before breaking out into a grin. “Hmm. For now, just one.” He offers you his hand. “Take me upstairs.”
__
Rafayel has a way about him, with you and only you, that makes you especially weak to his advances.
Whatever those advances are, however taxing on you they may be—there’s so rarely a time where you can tell him no. He likes having that much influence over you, no matter what his particular mood is. If he’s feeling the desire to keep you under his thumb or be at your mercy. Whats central to him in each instance is that he has the full breadth of your attention, your desire, and most importantly—your lacking will to resist.
You like it all because you like Rafayel. Like how it feels trying to hold onto him as he slips between your fingers.
If someone asked you what you like most, though - it’d be this.
Not quite at your mercy but expectant of your devotion. Crystalline eyes and long, straight lashes blinking up at you with unwitting demand, crowding around you mercilessly. A gaze that weakens you, disarms you, demands your propriety.
“What are you thinking about?”
His words come out more annoyed than he wants them to. Your eyes come back into focus to Rafayel on top of you, in your lap as you lean against the headboard. His weight settled like he’s something that fits there perfectly and he does. Your hand reaches for his lower back, eyes tracing down the damp skin. Button shirt opened just loose enough to catch glimpse of his collarbones, with only boxers underneath. Your hands run down his sides, smooth down his bare thighs - mesmerized by cream colored skin that begs for blemishes.
His expression bewitches you even when your mind had prepared you for it. You smile almost lazily, drawing him just a little closer to you until your noses touch. “Of you.”
He scoffs at you. “Is that so? Not that you have no reason to think about your perfect, darling lover—it’s just that it seems like he’s the last thing on your mind these days, so you know,-“
You kiss him. It’s only partially to shut him up. It’s mostly because him talking makes you look at the shape of his mouth, the curve of his lips—the way he’s pouting at you. It’s almost too much. You part after a minute, careful not to deepen the kiss.
He has something to say after the fact, dazed - hands on your shoulders trying to give himself the room to speak before you kiss him again.
But you don’t relent. You kiss him harder, a hand around the back of his neck - slipping your tongue against his lips in the way you like. He doesn’t concede. You’re not really expecting him to. He kisses back even harder like he’s trying to prove a point - teeth digging into your lower lip. A little too sharp for human, but perfect for him.
You pull away breathless. A hand still on the nape of his neck, sliding around enough to feel his pulse under your thumb. Thump, thump, thump—rabbit quick. You smile at him suggestively, proving him displeased.
“Don’t interrupt me. Trying to kiss me when I’m airing out my complaints is unprofessional and rude, I’ll have you know.”
“I’m sorry,” Your lips brush his jawbone. “It’s hard to think about talking when you’re half-naked on top of me.”
“You can be so vulgar. It’s shocking. You’re usually all serious and about work and then sometimes you look like a dog waiting to be told it can have the treat on it’s nose,” Rafayel says airily. Fake haughty, voice colored with coyness. You look up at him. “Does it really count as making it up to me if all you’re doing is lusting after me?”
You don’t deny him at face value. “You set the standard. You tell me. Do you feel like I’m still making it up to you or should I work a little harder?”
There’s something between you. A spark of electricity that fizzles and pops, tension deepening. Rafayel likes playing tug of war with you. Even though he’s expecting to be pampered - there’s nothing easy about letting him. But it works when you keep yourself even. Eager. Having your desire and lust for him out in the open gives him the power again and he likes that, even when it’s mostly pretend.
“Work harder. You have to earn your paycheck Miss Bodyguard.” He says. You laugh a little, sitting up a little straighter.
“Yes boss,” You reply. You lean forward, pulling his weight down as your hands slide underneath the loose, flowy button up. Your hands find his waist, holding his sides before gliding them up on the planes of his back. He’s got lean muscle, a swimmers build that feels tight to the touch.
You kiss him on the lips again, tongue sweeping against his lower lip. Rafayel playfully rejects it when you do. You pull away one hand to cup the back of his neck and force the kiss deeper, tongue pressing the closed seam of his lips until he yield and lets you. He melts at the gesture rather unwittingly, the softest little whimper sounding as you feel your tongues touch. It’s a wet, hot kiss. Mouth sticky with spit and saliva.
“I’m working hard so you shouldn’t be too hard on me,” You say playfully. Rafayel rolls his hips, makes a noise for you as he huffs. “I want to make you feel good.”
“You’re—“
You interrupt him again. Not with a kiss on his mouth this time, but a chaste one to the very corner of of it - trailing down the soft curve of his jawline. You make the pressure on his neck featherlight. Thin skin prone to being sensitive, he melts at the soft touch. Cranes his neck up subconsciously to give you access to it. In the spirit of pampering him, you bite at the skin with a genuine hunger. Marking each bruise with a kiss first, you sink your teeth into him without remorse. Incisors scraping the delicate area before you suck hard, broken capillaries throbbing underneath your tongue when you lick them after the fact.
Deep, deep shades of red and purple bloom all over the column of his throat. It doesn’t feel like enough to you still.
“My neck hurts from all your biting.” His voice comes out in wet pants, betraying the sentiment. You laugh warmly at his attempt to diverge.
“Does it? Should I be gentler, then?” You offer. After you feel like you’ve marked his neck enough, you press another feather-light kiss right where his adams apple sits. Another on his clavicle. When it gets to his collarbone - you don’t do anything more than brush your lips.
Rafayel whines. It’s a throaty sound that makes your whole body break out into a shiver. Such a pleasant sound on the ears that your mind pictures instantly what other sounds he might make if you just had your way with him. It uncovers a selfish part of you. You could flip him over on your bed and take him if you wanted. Fuck him until he sings as punishment maybe for being tempting like a siren drawing a lone sailor into deep waters.
You keep the thoughts to yourself, and keep your composure. You ask again instead. “Come on. Tell me. Do you want me to touch you more gently?”
He fusses in your lap. You grin. “What’s the point in being gentle now if you’re being so rough to begin with? The change would be just weird, you know.”
“I guess it would,” You let yourself lick the same places you just kissed. You bite then hard enough to leave a mark and Rafayel arches himself into it. “It’s better like this then, right? If I leave marks all over you, then maybe you’ll feel less lonely when I get busy again.”
“I should get to leave them on you too. Your memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be. A physical reminder might do you some good, yes.”
His voice is trembling, despite himself. You pull away to look up at him, and catch sight of a fragility you sometimes forget he’s capable of. Brows drawn into a furrow, lips pulled into a pout. Like a wound reopened inside of him that he’s so desperate to cauterize but can’t. You want to kiss the lines between his brows and get on your knees for it. A proof of your affection.
“I’m sorry for being careless,” You say, sincere. Rafayel looks ready to quiet you, concerned about the mood but you proceed anyhow. You lift his shirt up and hold it to his mouth, and he bites without your instruction. Bare chest exposed to him, you flit your gaze to his face. “I can’t do anything but try to beg your forgiveness. Still,”
You kiss his sternum, your hands on his waist. You fingers trail down his sides, hands sliding back up to chest. His nipples are hard, damp skin cool to the touch. Your warm him with your fingers, rolling over the sensitive tips. Rafayel makes a muffled noise, his cock twitching responsively.
“All I ever really think about is you,” You say. Rafayel gives you a long, unreadable look as you toy with his chest. “I’m not the type to half-ass things so my thoughts always revolve around you. Finishing work to come home to you. If you’ve eaten or if you locked yourself in the studio to paint all day. If we should go somewhere together on my day off.”
You lean forward and stick your tongue out, taking his nipples into your mouth. You roll the other one with your hand to increase the pleasure - content as you watch his face begin to flush. He watches you so closely, the tips of his ears burning a bright red. You suck hard, wetting them with saliva before you take them gently between your teeth and tugging.
“I’m not good at balancing work with play. I’m also not very friendly so you’re the only person I’ve ever spent so much time dating” You hum, nuzzling his skin. “I’m sure down the line it’ll be harder. But, if it helps, it’s true that my heads always filled with you.”
Your hands grip his waist, pushing his hips forward slightly as you suck and bite his chest again. A line of saliva connects you both as you pull away - teethmark indentations in their place.
“I want to make you feel good,” You maneuver Rafayel until he’s underneath you. His expression reads as overwhelmed but the faint blush blooming all over his skin and the hazy look in his eyes makes you confident he’s feeling more than just uncertainty. More like restlessness. A desire to be touched as he lays on his back with you looming over him. “And to touch you everywhere.”
You lean into him, trailing kisses down the his chest. You can feel his pulse quicken again as you touch him, spreading his legs as you put your thumb inside the waistband of his boxers.
Like this, he looks especially enchanting. The sleeves of his shirt pulled over his palms, button-up bunched up underneath his chin, and tight gray boxer briefs snug around his hips. Your bedroom, dimly lit, casting shadow on the sinewy muscle. His chest heaves with anticipation, stomach tense as your lips trace a path down from chest to navel. Excitement wracks through his body.
You put a hand on his stomach and look up at him. “I want to leave my mark on all of it. I want your body to remember I felt this deep inside of you and shiver. You’ll be able to think of me half as much as I think of you.”
Rafayel heaves, eyes glossed over. “Shit, you’re so unfair. It’s like you have two personalities or something. Are you tricking me? Is it actually you in there?”
You smile a little, pleased by his reply.
You follow your instinct, sliding his boxers off and tossing them somewhere. Rafayel is hard. So hard it looks like it hurts. The tip of his cock is ruddy, wet with pre-cum and swollen. His dick is long. Stands up with a straight curve. You breathe on it, making Rafayel flinch with anticipation. Your eyes flicker up to his face, terrible pout betraying his feigned moodiness..
“Don’t tease me,” He voices. Arousal strikes through you like hot iron at the whine of his voice. Almost pitiful.
“Not today,” You promise.
You making yourself comfortable between Rafayel’s legs, sticking your tongue out to taste him. He smells like soap and skin, but the scent is still so arousing. Your head is heavy with it, senses suffocating, hands stabilizing themselves by grabbing hold of his thighs. Rafayel looks near overwhelmed from even the slightest touch. It’s uncharacteristic for him to be so quiet. Almost meek. He must be aching for you more than he lets on.
You let his cock rest against your face, nuzzling it with your cheek. His cock responds sweetly to the lewd act. He lets out a sigh about, subtly trying to shimmy away from the touch. Unable to win against your grip, he sinks back into the bed and takes a long breath.
“Keep your eyes on me,”
In the business of spoiling him, you leave your teasing to a minimum. You gather spit in your mouth and spit it onto his cock with force - relishing the his breath hitches. How his eyes widen just slightly. You stroke his shaft with a tight grip, bringing your head down suck lightly below the shaft of his cock. His head falls back again, mouth open in a silent plea.
Rafayel keens for you when you work him with the warm, wet cavern of your mouth. You use your hands to fondle him while you shift your attention to his length. Your lips placing hot kisses up until they stop at the slit - tongue dipping into and tasting precum. Salty and warm. You wet your lips again and brush them against his cock - watching the way his expression shifts at the sensation, lightly sucking as you build yourself up having him in your mouth.
He pitches his hips with desperation that spurs you to give him more pleasure. You open wide to take his cock into your mouth. The weight of it feels good. Arousal clouds your mind as you hollows your cheeks and stick your tongue out over your lip. He’s throbbing so hard it makes you lightheaded.
A minute passes as you just hold him in your mouth, getting your jaw used to the sensation before you put in work in making him feel good. Like steel over your velvet, you use your tongue to lap at the sensitive skin while spitting and drooling. You’re making a mess. The room echoes with the filthy noise of you swallowing and choking on Rafayel’s cock.
“Oh, fuck.”
Your eyes flicker up to Rafayel, trying not to crack a smile at the state of disarray he’s in. His expression is so twisted from pleasure. All of his features reflective of it. His blush seems to creep down even further the longer you go. Your body gradually heats up, core throbbing as you take him down. Take him slowly into the narrow canal of your throat, eyes watering.
You ease yourself down the very base - nose pressed against his navel, tongue over your lip. Rafayel’s fingers curl into the sheets underneath you trying not to buck his hips.
“Get off of me, I’ll cum.” He says, almost panicked. “Your throat feels so good. Y-your mouth is so hot and it’s making me feel so good, can’t—I can’t. You gotta get off or—”
His words of protest fall on deaf ears as you spread his legs even further. Wanting to make him feel better, you part them.
You’re greeted by pretty pink hole - already wet for you. A stream of spit follows as you pull off him.
Rafayel heaves in relief.
“You got yourself ready,” You say, less than ask. Rafayel rolls his eyes.
“So what if I did?”
“I wanted to do it for you.” You reply, pretending to sulk. “Told you I wanted to spoil you.”
He blushes further. “Don’t you have any sensibility? You’re doing more than enough. Being excessive, even.”
“I don’t believe in being excessive when it comes to you,” You hum. Sitting up, you reach over the bedside table for a bottle of lube. You pour it in excess on your two fingers before coming back down between his legs. The bed creaks under your weight.
Lube drips from your two fingers onto Rafayel’s hole, thick as you push the excess with two fingers. Both go in so smoothly it makes you smirk. He’s soft inside. It’s so easy for you to put both fingers inside of him, even easier to find his prostate - swollen from arousal. He must’ve fucked himself open like this on three fingers given how easily yours follow.
“It’s so wet inside. You must’ve really wanted me to fuck you.”
“So what if I—aah—did?”
“Well, I wanted to take you apart nice and slow.” You say, slowly rubbing your fingers against his prostate, pleased by the little oh noises he makes when you. Cum spills from the tip immediately. He’s so sensitive. You divulge your plans to him as you stretch him. “First with my mouth once or twice. I was going to save fucking you for the end but—“ You push your fingers deeper. To the knuckle. His eyes shoot wide open before his voice breaks into a moan. “Since I’m making it up to you you, I was wondering if I should just cut the chase and make you cum on my cock over and over and over. Maybe you’d prefer that.”
Rafayel’s eyes go wide. You feel a sense of accomplishment knowing without him telling you. He clears his throat, strangely sheepish.
“It’s not like the other stuff feels bad or anything—“
You make eye contact with him, sitting up on your knees. Your other hand cups the back of his neck as you press a third finger inside - fucking it in slowly. Rafayel moans unabashedly as you do. His skin is feverish as you press your forehead to his, noses brushing. The wet sound of you stretching him open makes you dizzy, shared breaths between you filling worsening your appetite for him.
“It’s not what you want though, is it? Not today anyway.” You say, leaning close enough to kiss. You don’t follow through, your voice low on a whisper. “Tell me how you were picturing me fucking you in the shower. I’ll give you whatever you want today,”
Rafayel seems to let go of the last threads of fight in him as you approach like this. You’re in the thick of your wanting for him. Your body and your mind hunger to make it feel so good it looks like carnage to everyone else. To be pleasured so ruthlessly he can barely move
He’s rarely too shy but right now he’s in the depths of his desires. He moans sweetly like this. It’s not a sound you can coax out of him easily. It sounds so perfect still. Mouth fallen open, his hands finding purchase in the back of your shirt.
“Want you to fuck me deeply,” He pants, like it’s straining to even thinking about it. “N-not too fast, but not too slow either. Want you, hngh,” Shivering, he tries to speak coherently as your eyes meet - lips barely touching but almost. “To p-praise me and—“
You grin. “You want to pampered while I fuck this pretty little hole, right?”
You push your fingers in harder. He whimpers. It’s loud and broken and makes grip on you tighter. He just nods. “Please. Fuck, please - need it now. In me, please.”
It’s exactly the words you’re interested in hearing. You kiss him on the lips deeply. He sinks completely into the touch, malleable under your fingertips.
“Shh, I know.” You hum, soothingly. Rafayel whines from the loss of contact as you pull your hand away.“You earned it. Just a little more.”
You stand up again on your knee, stripping yourself of the remaining garments left on your body from the work day. You unhook your bra and take it off along with your tank top in one go, tossing it somewhere on the floor.
Next come your slacks, tight from the way you’ve tucked silicone cock up against your stomach to be ready to fuck. You put it on earlier while he bathed - tucking it in your pants to keep it out of the way. Seeing you unzip your work slacks and have a heavy silicone cock fall from them evokes a reaction in Rafayel that endears you endlessly. A bitten lip while a shiver wracks through him.
Deciding your pants will get in the way, you make quick work of wriggling out of them completely before returning between Rafayel’s legs. You spit in your hand and stroke yourself with it, wetting your cock before letting it rest against Rafayel’s own.
“How do you want it?” You ask.
“Like this,” He says, unmoving. He seems certain on that end but he’s hesitating. “But I want you to…”
He looks away. You try not to grin but fail.
“You were being so bold a second ago,”
He rolls his eyes. “Well a second ago someone was trying to rearrange my insides so I didn’t have to think very hard,”
“So, should I do it again, then? I think we’ll get better results that way.”
“You’re so noisy. I don’t pay you for this,” He pauses. “I want you to hug me while we… like be close to me.”
You pause before smiling gently. You’re so charmed by the innocence of it. It’s so unlike him. Being away from you must’ve bothered him more than he cared to admit. Softening, instantly - you lean forward and press your lips to his forehead.
“Sure. Anything else?”
“Ugh. Not for now. But it’s annoying. I should be running you into the ground by now but here you are,”
“Making good on my promise?,” You finish. Rafayel doesn’t refute you. You kiss his shoulder blade. “Anything you want today. I’m yours.”
“Say it again,”
“All yours.”
He wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you down. “…Hurry up and fuck me then.”
Complying with his wishes, you sit back on your knees as you line your cock up with Rafayel’s entrance and push. He gasps as you slide the fat head of your cock in, a wicked smile on your face as you watch his hole stretch out and around you. Three fingers is more than enough prep. It makes filling him so easy.
Still, the stretch - the feeling of being full is nothing like just fingers. You watch as Rafayel’s body adjusts to it. Inch by inch, you rock your hips forward gently until he’s swallowed your cock up half-way. He’s trembling as you lean forward. Waiting for you to bottom out before he pulls you forward for as much skin to skin as he can have. Your chest squishes against him.
When his hips roll for you to go deeper, you take it as a sign. With all of your strength, you hold onto his waist bury yourself inside of him in another single thrust. His nails dig into your shoulder, his voice next to your ear as you. Tightening his grip, he cries out at the sudden movement
You can feel him shake underneath you, cock clenching hard while you hold him.
“Fuuck,” He goes stone stiff underneath you before starting to tremor more violently. “Fuck, oh fuck.”
Realization dawns on you a few seconds later. “Did—did you cum just from putting it in?”
He opens his eyes and frowns at you.
“Shut up. I didn’t get to cum earlier.”
You laugh. “You’ll kill me being this cute. I don’t know what to do.”
“I could give you an idea if you’re going to just sit there,”
His impatience amuses you.
“Sorry. I’ve got you. Cum as much as you want.”
You anchor yourself, pulling out slowly and internally groaning at the resistance as you do. How his hole grips onto you so tight it feels nearly hard to move despite know how stretched he is. A phantom sensation fills your waist as you feel his stomach shift as you thrust.
Heeding earlier requests, you use your hips to set a pace to fuck Rafayel the way he wants. The ins and outs of his body come naturally to you now. Finding the right pace, the right motion, the right angle - all come easier to you than you even remember. On muscle memory, you hike Rafayel’s legs up and begin to fuck him deep. Not too fast, not too slow - but consistent in grinding against that sweet spot. Deliberately thrusting your hips up, you try to direct all the remaining focus into fucking him as good as you can.
You know you’ve hit the right places when his grip on you gets tighter. His legs locked around your back, Rafayel is a mess underneath you even when you’ve barely begun. Like he can’t stop cumming, his body helplessly wound as your hips clap his ass.
The moans that come out of him, broken and sweet. More angelic then pornographic but lewd enough to make you dizzy with the urge to pin him up and fuck him harder. Groaning when you fuck him just right. You can feel his cock against your stomach with how close your bodies are as you grind - twitching. Pre-cum leaking in long spurts and wetting your skin.
You coo at him feeling it start to be easier to fuck him.
“It’s just like a pussy, huh? You take me so good inside of you. It feels like you were made for it,” You press kisses wherever your lips can find the skin. On his face, his mouth, on his shoulders. You can barely make sense of your own filth, your mind moving on it’s own as your body chases its own arousal. Your clit is grinding against the base of your strap-on so well like this, you could easily chase the high and find your own orgasm with seconds. You’re too busy paying attention to make well on it. “I like when you act cute like this. Usually you’d put up a fight about it but you’re asking without fuss. It’s precious seeing you fall apart on my cock.”
He moans your name like an incantation, another dribble of cum spilling. He can’t stop cumming. Just shuddering beneath you, his face in your shoulder and panting like he can’t find the words.
“All mine, yeah? Everything, all of you. It’s all mine to tend to, so you can be as selfish as you want.” You hum, encouraged by the whimpering repetition of please in his voice. He’s being so pliant, so good. You can’t help yourself. “Take when you need. Cum when it feels good for you. I want you to feel good. Want to make you feel so good you can’t stand it. Think you can do that? Come on,”
Rafayel moans brokenly into your neck. “I’m g-gonna cum so hard, fuck—feels like I can’t stop, please don’t stop, fuck me,”
“Shh it’s okay. I wont stop until you tell me.” You tuck yourself against his neck, kissing it before biting his ear lobe. He gasps. “Don’t think about anything other than cumming for me.”
“Fuck,” His nails dig into your biceps, coiling you around as you get close. “Fuck me. P-please—I’m cumming, I’m cu -“
Rafayels whole body stiffens under the weight of your body. You fuck him steady, pinning him down as he cums. His cock pushes hard against your stomach, twitching helplessly as his cum spills in streams. His back curls up, gripping onto you tightly as he moans loud and unabashed, euphoria splintering through his muscles. You fuck him through it until he rides out his high - his body loosening up as soon as it passes.
The sound of cum unsticking from your skin as you part from Rafayel makes you grin. You pull back out of slowly and get on your knees. You use your hand to wipe the cum off of your stomach and smear it against Rafayel’s hole.
“You made a mess,” You say brightly. Rafayel pants, looking up at you. Before you can ask, his voice trembles. He weakly reaches for your hand.
“Let me make you finish,” He says, abrupt. You blink at him owlishly. “Please.”
“Isn’t this about you?”
He frowns, looking at you seriously.
“It is. And I’m telling you I want you sit on my face and cum on it. Please.”
You give him a look before breaking out into a laugh. You stand onto your knees and undo the buckles of your harness - shimmying out of them. “I can’t refuse you if you ask like that but I don’t think it’ll be long.”
“It’ll just be once for now,”
“For now?”
He nods matter-of-factly. “You still owe me after the crimes of neglect you’ve committed against me.”
“Right.”
“And I’ve decided I want to exercise my rights to eat pussy until sunrise.”
“I see,” You say bemused. “And this is… revenge I take it? And not perhaps, an act of goodwill towards me.”
“I have no reason to show you good will, do I?”
You break out into more laughter.
“Right. We’ll be even after today then, at least.”
“Hurry,” Rafayel says again, after settling it. Same puppy dog look in his eyes as before, back in instant. You can’t help but be charmed by how quickly he reverts back into desiring your attention.
Rafayel lays down as you take your strap-on off and crawl over towards him. Deciding you’re not done with him for the day - you stand on your knees just over his chest and spread your pussy apart for him to see. He’s not expecting it, evidenced by the way his eyes go wide at the sight.
“Even without cumming, making you feel good turned me on this much. Is that what you were hoping to know?”
Rafayel goes flush again. “I never said that.”
“So difficult,” You hum. “Come on. Can I sit?”
Rafayel barely masks his enthusiasm as he nods. You crawl over him further before carefully setting yourself above his face. You try to avoid letting the full weight rest on him, but Rafayels hands are on you in an instant. With the same desperate grip he had while you were fucking him, he pulls your thighs down until your pussy is in his mouth - tongue out and lapping up wetness instantly. You shiver at the desperate movement of his tongue.
It gets your body hot all over again. Your fingers thread through the purple strands of hair for anchor as you push yourself against his willing mouth like you’re fucking his face. Your own desires hadn’t crossed your mind until now, but now that you’re aware of it - that familiar restless lust returns to you tenfold You shiver as the familiar flames of arousal stoke back up inside of you.
Your gut honeyed, sticky lust making your limbs feel thick. You use your other hand to tweak your nipples as you rock your hips back and forth. Rafayel lies underneath you obediently, eagerly - his hands helping you move at the pace you want without complaint. He always manages to surprise you. His willingness to give to you making you feel weak in the knees.
Already so worked up, it takes you hardly any time to reach your climax. You feel it in your waist, body going slack as the knot inside of your stomach uncoils. You let out a short cry, hands tightening in Rafayel’s hair as you cum all over his face - swearing as you do. You feel Rafayel moan against you, reverberating through you as you ride out your high and finish.
You pull away from his sated, pulling back to see him wiping his chin before licking his fingers. The look in his eyes sends an amused sort of arousal through you.
“You look like you’re going to eat me.” You say. Rafayel nods.
“I mean… I’m certainly trying.”
You laugh tiredly, swiping your thumb against his cheek with a smile.
“After we clean up and have dinner,” You say. “I have some mandatory time off so I won’t be called in.”
“I won’t let you sleep,” He says, clingy again - face pressed against your thigh. You grin. His many moods make you so weak to him.
You bend down to kiss his forehead.
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
✮ a/n ; rafayel fans . let me know if this was okay im lacking confidence but i had writing him. i want to keep like a spoiled housecat maybe.
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what if
reader taking bf!rafe to go watch babygirl in the cinemas and bf!rafe gets jealous when reader thirsts for harris dickinson LMAOO
Just a Movie
i love this idea!
jealous!rafe x reader
warnings: fluff, kinda suggestive, rafe being an ass guy a little
Just a Movie
“come onnnnn” i groan, “i really want to see this movie”, i pout my lips slightly. Rafe would rather be caught dead then watching some romance/kinky movie. He hasn’t moved an inch even though i’m pulling his arm with every being of my body.
His face unfazed and body laying on the bed, hat covering his face. “Baby, what’s up with you wanting to see some weird movie?”
I huff, “It’s not weird! My celebrity crush is in it-“ this immediately catches his attention. he takes his hat off his face, showing his hint of jealously.
“Now i’m definitely not going.” i frown, “hey don’t get jealous”, i poke at him. “Ask your pogue friends.” he sits up.
“They’re all on their little dates besides I wanted to go see it with you.” i give him a small smile, intertwining our fingers slightly.
“plus.. maybe i’ll give you a small gift..” i peck his lips softly with a smile. he groans as if the suggestion will kill him.
“fine.”
“yes!” i give him kisses all around his face, straddling him. “okay okay, let’s go”, he pats my ass as a signal to get up.
One of the best things about Rafe is that he always knows what i want to eat and what i like. i honestly don’t know how he remembers everything but it’s something i love about him.
“ready, baby?” holding our snacks in his hand. i hum in response.
As we get situated in our seats and the previews play, i can tell rafe is feeling off. “what’s wrong?”
“jus’ thinking”
was he mad at me? did i do something?
i hold back my questions, usually if he wants to talk about something he’ll communicate with me. we’ve been working on doing that a lot recently so maybe i’m just overthinking.
the movie starts and starts getting more and more interesting and intense as it goes on, the more intimate scenes come on and i can tell rafe is looking at me. he’s tense like he’s wanting to leave or just not in the mood for the movie.
“you don’t gotta stare so hard at him..” i hear him mumble. “..what?” taken aback.
he doesn’t reply and it suddenly hits me. is rafe cameron… jealous? i can’t even believe he’s jealous of all people, i would’ve never expected him to get jealous.
“are you… jealous?” i ask more hesitate. “pfft no..? what are you talking about?” he whispers trying to not be louder than the movie.
“oh you soooooo are.” i extended my words and laugh. “it’s okay baby i’m all yours, just hope he doesn’t grab me through the screen.”
“whatever i’m way hotter than that guy”, he’s pulling off this cool guy persona like he doesn’t care.
he places his hand on my thigh, softly gripping as if he’s trying make sure i know im his.
“i only have my eyes on you, cameron, don’t worry” he makes a mocking face towards me and i shove him a little with a laugh.
“wanna get out of here or stay and watch your little boyfriend?” the snarky remark ending with a sly smile on his face.
“yeah yeah whatever let’s go”
“i still get that little gift right?” he slaps my ass as i get up to leave
hiii guys this is my first fluff, it’s kinda short but i hope you like it 💞
#smut#drew starkey#obx#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx season 4#obx x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe fanfiction#rafe outer banks#john b routledge#rafe x you#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#x reader#rafe obx#obx spoilers#obx cast#jj obx#sarah cameron#kiara carrera#carlacia grant#madelyn cline#cleo anderson#pope heyward#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank
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Oh my goood, your headcanons for CaitVi x Wanted Criminal! Reader were sooo accurate and awesome, can you, PLEASE, write a one-shot with this idea?
⌗ TITLE┆BLOOD WILL RUN┆song: my own piece of hell ★ ₊ ˚⟡
⌗ TAGS┆gn!reader, poly relationship, caitvi/reader, wantedcriminal!reader ★ ₊ ˚⟡
⌗ NOTE┆im glad you thought the hcs were accurate!! My friend helped me with them so I can't take all the credit :3, short oneshot because writers block is getting to me ★ ₊ ˚⟡
There’s blood under your nails again.
Not your blood, at least not this time. Someone else’s. A little too much of it, if the stiff, drying patches on your gloves are anything to go by. You peel them off, shoving them deep into the bag slung over your shoulder, before the dripping from your wrist can leave a trail on Caitlyn’s spotless floorboards. She’d have a fit if she saw the mess you were dragging into her home again—no, not home, safehouse. That’s what she called it when she shoved the key into your hand a few months ago. “For emergencies,” she’d said.
Caitlyn had known better than to ask how long you’d been running by then. Long enough that you stopped counting.
You’re halfway through shrugging out of your coat when the front door clicks open.
The instinct to bolt hits you hard, years of surviving on quick reflexes tightening your muscles. But the sharp edge of the voice that follows pulls you back from the brink.
“Relax. Just us.”
Vi.
You don’t turn. You don’t need to. You’d know that voice anywhere—the gruff rasp of it, like she’s always a little winded, as if her fights haven’t quite let her go yet. It’s comforting, in a way.
You glance over your shoulder anyway, long enough to catch her stepping through the doorway, Caitlyn right on her heels.
They’re still wearing their uniforms. The sight of Caitlyn in hers—crisp, formal, perfect—makes you flinch, even now. The cuffs hooked at her belt glint under the low light of the chandelier, a sharp reminder of how close this whole thing comes to falling apart every single time you see them.
They are falling apart, you think. All three of you.
Caitlyn shuts the door behind them, her eyes already scanning the room. “You’re hurt,” she says, her voice dipping into that soft, precise tone she saves for when she’s trying not to sound concerned. It doesn’t work.
“Not my blood,” you mutter.
That earns you a sharp look from Vi. “You shouldn’t even be here. You know what they’re saying about you up in Piltover, right? Enforcers are pulling double shifts trying to track you down.”
“As if I didn’t notice,” you shoot back, your mouth twitching with something too bitter to be called a smile. “You think I want to be here? I don’t exactly have a lot of options right now.”
It’s a weak excuse, and all three of you know it.
You hadn’t had to come here at all. You could’ve run further. Stayed in Zaun, burrowed into some forgotten hole until things cooled off. But you didn’t. You came here—their apartment, in Piltover of all places—and Vi’s scowl makes it obvious what she thinks of that decision.
But Caitlyn, true to form, softens before Vi does. She crosses the room, her long legs eating up the distance between you in a few steps. Her hand brushes your arm, light as a whisper, before moving up to tilt your chin so she can look at you properly.
Your mouth opens—some weak protest forming on your lips—but it dies when she meets your eyes.
“You’re lucky,” Caitlyn murmurs, her gaze trailing over your face like she’s cataloging every bruise, every scrape, every wrong thing she can’t fix. Her lips purse just slightly, a soft, worried quirk. “There’s a warrant with your name on it and your face sketched right at the top. If anyone else had caught you tonight—”
“They didn’t,” you interrupt. You force yourself to hold her stare. “And they won’t.”
It’s bold. Reckless, even. You know better than to make promises like that.
Behind Caitlyn, Vi scoffs. “Bold talk, coming from someone hiding in our apartment right now.”
Caitlyn’s fingers twitch on your chin, her thumb brushing just under your jaw. You see it in her face—the conflict, the silent battle between her sense of duty and something deeper, something softer. You wonder if she knows you see it, if she realizes how much you hate yourself for putting her through this.
“You can’t stay here,” Caitlyn says finally, stepping back. Her voice is gentler now, but firm. “Not long-term.”
“Like I don’t already know that,” you mutter.
Vi moves closer, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms. Her presence is a weighty thing, solid and grounding. Where Caitlyn is cool precision, Vi is something rawer, something that cuts sharper and bleeds deeper. “They’ll find you eventually, Y/N. If you keep coming back here, we’re all screwed.”
“And what do you want me to do, huh?” you snap, the words spilling out before you can stop them. “Keep running? Go to Zaun? You think I’ll last a week down there with Silco’s people crawling all over the place?”
Silence. Thick and suffocating.
Vi doesn’t answer, and Caitlyn doesn’t meet your eyes.
For a long moment, it feels like all of you are drowning.
Then, finally, Caitlyn sighs. The sound is soft, but it carries the weight of a decision she doesn’t want to make. She looks at Vi, and something unspoken passes between them.
“Fine,” Caitlyn says, her voice tight. “You can stay. But just for the night.”
You swallow, the tension in your chest loosening just a fraction. “Thanks.”
Vi’s eyes narrow, but she doesn’t argue. She just pushes off the wall, coming to stand next to Caitlyn. “You better not make us regret this.”
For the first time tonight, you feel something almost like relief. It’s fragile and fleeting, but it’s there.
Caitlyn moves first, gently tugging you toward the couch. “Sit. Let me clean you up.”
You don’t argue.
#caitlyn arcane#writeblr#writing#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers and poets#ao3 writer#creative writing#on writing#writer life#arcane#arcane writing#arcane x reader#caitvi#vi x you#vi arcane#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x reader#league of legends caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#gn reader#gender neutral mc#gender neutral y/n#gender neutral post#gender neutral reader
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comforting bllk characters
featuring : i. rin, m. reo, m. kaiser
a/n : hi so ummm im back .!!! did you guys miss me ?? anyways my writers block was HORRIBLE but im recovered now i think. let’s ignore how ooc kaisers probably is because its based off of fics ive seen + edits. i’ll redo it later.
i. rin
as i referenced in the one where they comfort you, rin would be very closed off emotionally. even so, he’s like a fucking book with how he behaves.
it doesn’t take you long to realize just how much the u-20 game affected him. as much as he tried to turn his annoyance into motivation and actually doing something with it, sometimes it would become too much. whether that looks like him overworking himself or lashing out, it’ll always show through.
the most you could do is make sure he stays safe during it. showing up to the field at weird hours, ruining your sleep schedule, just to give him more water and a ride home considering he ran all the way there.
“why’re you here?” he’d scoff, panting slightly from all the work.
“woke up early, thought i’d stop by,” you lied, yes, but it was fine. he didn’t need to know you’d set at least 10 alarms to make sure you’d wake up and stay up.
he didn’t respond, so you just handed him a large water bottle. it was a spare, but it also was the biggest you’d had, so it’d have to make do.
“thanks.” he mumbled, his voice barely audible. the cold barrier that’d been there slowly flexing and melting away.
he wasn’t someone that you could just befriend instantly. every time the two of you hung out, you’d have to prove to him that you were there to stay. it was gradual.
most people gave up after the first couple of times when they realized they were practically back to where they started. that was except for you.
after taking a few sips of the water, he hands it back to you, not wanting it to interfere with his training. you grabbed it from him, then wandered over to the sidelines.
“where are you going?” he asked, though, if you paid enough attention, you’d notice he was anxious. very anxious.
“just over here, i don’t want you to hit me..” you said calmly, trying to lighten it slightly. you were careful to not wander too far from him.
he didn’t say anything to you afterwards, but you noticed the tension loosened again.
even though he wouldn’t let you interfere — which you have tried — he’d still let you care for him. maybe he knew it was because you’d get anxious and blame yourself if he didn’t let you help in some way.
m. reo
he would be anxious. i don’t care if this is ‘out of character’. for the most part, yeah he doesn’t stress much because he hasn’t had much to worry about. but the second he gets stressed out, he stresses, a lot. and because he hasn’t been exposed to much stress, he’s absolutely clueless on how to cope.
he’d be laying in bed — at his desk now? nope, he’s pacing. point being, he just can’t sit still, and god, he won’t stop babbling about nonsense.
“reo.” for the hundredth time, he’d cut you off completely. this was coming from the guy who felt it was rude to type when other people were typing, so you let it slide.
“and then — oh yeah, did you say something?” finally, some recognition.
“come sit down in front of me,” you pat the bed, clearing off the blankets so he could just crawl in. he did just that, sitting in front of you, his back facing you.
“like this?” he was always so hesitant with you. but you just responded in a hum of approval. you carefully started combing through his hair with your fingers, occasionally grazing his scalp and briefly massaging it. his hair was silky and clean.
he became quieter, his muscles slowly relaxing and calming.
“so, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” you spoke quietly, careful to not ruin the calmness of the moment.
“it’s nothing big—” you stopped in your movements as he said that, and he knew that meant you were displeased.
“okay, okay, fine..” he mumbled.
m. kaiser
okay so.. i feel like now’s the perfect time for me to say i have not gotten to where he is in the manga. um! so what i planned to do for this is write how i think he acts, then correct it later on whenever i do catch up. i think i get him a bit though ?? currently i see him as a self destructive possibly alcoholic man. who takes after his dad who was abusive and an alcoholic, mom wasn’t in the picture. no clue how any of that relates to soccer but sure! i’ve heard a lot that he hits himself / chokes himself as a way of coping (after doing some research it’s for ideas. okay.) so that’s the route we’re gonna take with that. no clue if it’s true or not.
he really didn’t get it. no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t figure himself out. how was he supposed to understand others and beat others if he couldn’t even understand himself? he needed ideas—
was it illogical? yes, absolutely. did it work? also yes.
adrenaline from anything could be put to use to benefit. so, he did the thing he’s done for ages. maybe he’s began to rely on it for too long so he reached to it for the smallest things, he didn’t really care, though.
it worked, and until it stopped working, he wouldn’t stop abusing his body for his brain. it was nothing more than a vessel, anyways.
“kaiser.” even through your voice, his choking movements didn’t falter.
“just fuckin’ stop for a moment-” you were the only person he really let talk to him like that, even though it wasn’t often that you took advantage of it.
it worked enough for him to stop, just for a moment and catch his breath. it’s not like he wanted to pass out, anyways. the second he let go, you grabbed his hands.
“what is it?” he huffed, his voice groggy and rough.
“don’t do that. ‘what is it?’, you know exactly what it is.” it wasn’t uncommon for you to be mad at him or mildly rude, but even keeping it up for this long was abnormal.
“it works, well, it would’ve, if you didn’t disrupt me.” he rolled his eyes.
“that’s not the point and you know it.”
“then what is it?”
there was a silence for a few moments before you just decided to ask outright.
“what do you need help with this time?” you were still a bit petty, but you just hoped he wouldn’t pay too much attention to it.
“doesn’t concern you.”
“i’ll make it concern me. tell me.”
“why would i do that?”
god, was he always this annoying?
“okay, fine, whatever it is, i won’t interfere. how about you tell me, and if i can’t think of a solution by tomorrow, you can do whatever this is.”
there was another long silence as he considered it. it was appealing — all he had to do was tell you, and you could do all the work. the backup was there and it was exactly what he wanted. there wasn’t much time left in the day anyways.
“fine. tomorrow first thing.”
#bllk#rin bllk#rin itoshi#blue lock#reo bllk#reo mikage#comfort#fluff#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#kaiser bllk#micheal kaiser#bllk x reader
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I talked to Erin in the overnet… now I realize why she seemed so different. She was scared, I guess the Terran propaganda got to her or something. She thought I was being kept as a hostage… and was trying run away to protect herself. And protect me by taking her with me. She said the vets… doctors, sorry. She asked me not to call them vets. She said the doctors have been treating her like she’s dangerous. Mistress Aurelia says she’s doing what she can to protect me.
I got mistress Aurelia to do some research on paranoid Terrans, since that’s what the doctors called Erin. Aurelia said they aren’t usually dangerous, unless the delusions get bad.
Could that girl have been having bad delusions? I thought that the Affini would give someone a wellness check if things were going wrong like that. I guess Erin really was hiding from things, even her Hab AI like she said.
I wonder if we could visit her, and maybe Aurelia could ask the questions the Affini have been wanting to ask. Maybe I could show her that life is better when you don’t have to worry about protecting yourself from everything. Maybe she’ll see that life is better when you give someone else control.
Aurelia says the Affini are talking about compulsory domestication for her. I wonder if she sees that it would be best for her?
(Quick note for everyone, I’ve seen some interest. Im tagging all of the updates with “#aboard the helianthus” to make it easier to follow the story… I’ll also edit the older posts to link to the next one in the saga as Aurelia and I work through all of this.)
Umm, kind of scared. I was in the park today, reading on my tablet while mistress Aurelia had some errands to run. She encouraged me to get out and meet people, so I was kind of excited when this adorable red haired independent came to talk to me. Her name is Erin. But she grabbed my wrist and pulled me off across the park and before we fell down and she started crying. Aurelia came to get me, and some Affini took Erin away in a stretcher. I’ve never seen Mistress bristle with thorns like that… she was gentle with me, but she seemed like she was trying to scare Erin.
I think im okay, a little bit bruised… but - is Erin going to be okay? I don’t know why, but im worried the Affini might treat her like a feralists criminal. Idk, I don’t think she was one.
I guess I can ask Mistress Aurelia to get me her status from the hospital ward… im worried bringing it up might upset her though.
#human domestication guide#hdg#seedposting#floretposting#flort#floret#affini compact#the affini#affiniposting#affini#aboard the helianthus
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the ideal couple is a guy who says the worst things imaginable (dick grayson) and then the guy he fights all the time (roy harper) with his daughter (lian harper) and their adopted teenager (grant emerson) and their adopted teenager (rose wilson) and their adopted teenager (damian wayne) and their
#do u get it do u see my vision#dickroy#dick grayson#roy harper#dc comics#teen titans#im working on something don’t worry about it#spokes
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im so conflicted about them. when gen gives into her feelings they can be so cute (i love protective gen) but when she shows her “bad side” she becomes a total bitch! i wanted aoey to slap her or leave her on multiple occasions. SOMETIMES BOTH!
#much like with wanpleng in affair I really don’t think they should be together#but that’s tv for ya#I think I read somewhere that’s there’s a significant time jump in which they are separated#so I’m really worried as to what causes them to break up since they seem to be in a good place right now#now that their relationship and feelings are out in the open#glad the mom was cool#but also#FUCK GREAT!!!#dude knew it was not working out between him and aoey#HELL SHE WAS ON A DATE WITH SOME OTHER DUDE#and yet he kept pestering his sister to help him out#the boy never seemed to learn his lesson and continued to touch aoey causing her to have a freak out#AND THEN#he decides to get his sister drunk!#(though im unsure how he pulled that off since gen knew right away that something was off with her drink)#OH I ALSO FORGOT ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE OUTED HIS SISTER#*takes a deep breath*#ok I think that’s everything#mate the series#gen x aoey
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thinking about this post i saw the other week where this person was saying how badly they wanted to be able to buy a nice mug without thinking twice about it. and all the comments were saying how they could just buy a cheaper mug. and they were like jesus fucking christ ITS NOT ABOUT THE MUG. because yeah
#i’m so fucking. Exhausted#having to so carefully budget every single dollar#and feeling like a failure if i want to get like. some fancy cookies or something#or a nice blanket#and i am paying back my debt but also taking on more every year#and i personally don’t even feel that bad about it. like as long as i can afford the monthly payments idc#but then i see like three million tiktok/youtube videos shaming people who have less debt than i do#and im like. well ok.#like i am Trying idk what else to say😭#but i don’t want to try this hard like i’m not strong enough#i don’t have the work ethic or desire to scrape every penny into my savings like.#i just want to be able to buy fun things and see my friends#not even like. anything crazy expensive😭#i want to go out to a bar for karaoke without feeling guilty about the drink prices#it’s just. sooooo fucking frustrating and i’m worried it won’t ever end#sorry for the rant i am just spiraling a little bit😭#i’ll probably delete later#like i am Fine and actually doing really well rn#but i am so sick of not being able to afford to eat#and even when i start getting paid i still have to be so so so careful with my money#which i am. historically not good at doing#UGH#sorry😭#will delete#personal
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Ugh not to be like it’s been 5 years: LET IT GO.
But. It’s been FIVE YEARS. And we’ve been friends but the only thing you talk about is that conference we attended together that I can’t even remember anything but seeing bunnies on campus and that it was my first time taking a taxi alone.
I’ve moved on. I can’t remember it anymore to hold these grudges. I can’t hold onto those extra grudges that I’m not part of. I can’t remember what they did until you rehash it. (Also omg LISTING OUT NAMES?!? I don’t even remember almost half these names at all)
#shattered fragments#whining#anyway I’m not replying to a message that says ‘I hate these people’#which. I vaguely remember racism as a thing that was one of the issues which is fair but there were other things I can’t remember#bc it was FIVE YEARS AGO.#I don’t even think the conference exists anymore#like. we live in VERY DIFFERENT PROVINCES#YOU NEVER HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN#EVER#YOU ARE SEVERAL PROVINCES AWAY FROM ALL OF THEM#PLEASE SIR COULD YOU MAYBE TALK TO idk. therapist instead. im kinda sick of this one point in EVERY single conversation we’ve ever had#and also in our text based conversations too#(ok. other than being queer and asian we have. like. nothing in common tbh).#and it feels so shitty to say but I’m only like 70% sure of their pronouns. bc it’s not in the ig and it’s been. five years.#things that make me happy#ugh.#like we could talk about food#but then it’s back to conference food and I can’t fucking remember any of it#complaining about work is an option I suppose#I just. if I want to keep rehashing the same negative shit over and over. not to the same person unless they say they’re ok with it#and honestly. it just brings me down.#I have enough stuff to worry about and regret without a conference FIVE YSARS AGO.#I REGRET ENOUGH DROM WHAT I REMEMBER AS A CHILD#I DONT NEED TO FUCKING ADD SOMETHING THAT WAS MOSTLY JUST A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR TRAVELLING ALONE FOR ME TO IT
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I wanna work on my spidersona comic but I don’t know how to properly format comics still
#pink talks#pink talk#I don’t want to copy anyone either#and I have been sitting on the ideas for the past 6+ months to a year#but idk the spiderverse community on twt hs been cut throat lately and I don’t want to participate there rn#there’s just something going on every other day month week and im tired#I just want to post w/o worrying much (cause I never cared about likes in the first place) I just want to get my ideas out there#and well bring my ideas to life to the point im satisfied#also to myself: womp womp#I’m gonna try to though#I have just been tired and haven’t worked on any other wips that I have#also been busy so there’s that
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theOrEticalLy . if I opened commissions at some point. would there be. a smackerel of interest . ??
#i have never opened them bc it’s intimidating and I don’t know how to price things!!#but mostly bc i work full time w a good salary so I don’t really need side things to make money#like it feels selfish to suggest that people should pay me to make fanart?? When#a) I already do that for free bc i enjoy it lol#and b) there are so many creators out there who are struggling to make ends meet#and I am privileged enough to generally not have to worry about that#this would be just like extra spending money to fund my scented candle habit DHDJDN#and the clothes I just bought while trying to Discover My Vibe and Finally Be Myself (at age 28 lol)#also tbh it would likely be reinvested in other commissions bc I buy commissions fairly often lol#anyway. idk the idea of commissions always sounded cool but also guilt inducing and scary#it feels weird and silly bc it would make me have to take my art seriously if that makes sense??#like me saying ‘I think I’m good enough at art that people would buy it from me.’ that feels so bold and like. arrogant or something dhjsjd#coming from me I mean. just a silly little guy who still struggles to draw human limbs properly#ok I’m thinking about how I’d have to make a commission sheet and put a dollar sign on my art and I’m aaaaaaa#and I’d have to execute exactly what people want and what if I can’t!!!#omg ok maybe noT help lol#well im not committing to anything rn im simply. asking a question while the dash is asleep and then running off to bed seeya#i think part of me always wanted to try commissions to see if I could be a Real Artist about it ??#and potentially end up with like. Portfolio pieces ??#why I would need an art portfolio I don’t know. I am an editor. What do I think I will be doing here#ppl left comments on my animatic that have been giving me crazy what if thoughts. sit down#don’t look at me#ohhh swirly brain thoughts I need to sleep
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Just watched Fool’s Paradise!
#wow! that was BAD!#im drinking btw#not even drunk but tipsy yes#damn it’s sad but weirdly like#huh…#thinking about how bad this movie was#looking past the fac that it was clearly a lot of satirical inside jokes that don’t click for a general audience#the plot just massively lacked cohesiveness#it made me realise that charlie never writes an ep of sunny alone?#like he’s always with rob or glenn#and obviously we know charlie and rob have their fights and differences#but watching something JUST written by charlie kinda goes to show how Rob is a balance he needs#he can pick up the gaps and the connecting points that are missing throughout#again like weird ass movie it’s hard to believe this man is involved on sunny if i had only seen that movie from him#but yeah…interesting he’s always a COwriter for sunny#they really need to bounce and work off each other huh#need someone to check them a little? let them know what works and what doesn’t#hm.#ugh i’m kinda annoyed i watched it ngl.#it made me worried for sunny16 which is literally definitely irrational#but jesus christttttt dude#what did i just WATCH.
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a little (lot) worried about my mom but aughhhhh
#camera talks#I don’t like saying it bc I don’t want it to be true so if I don’t say it and don’t think it it won’t be true#but like#her memory is deteriorating I think.#she sent me the same thing twice over a few hours and she didn’t even realize it despite the fact we had a conversation about it#and this isn’t the first time that’s happened#and she’s always asking what time I work even when I’ve told her like 3 times already#and like. her driving is a whole other story and I don’t even like not being in the passenger seat with her#because what if something happens and I’m not in front to deal with it#and her physical pain and health is also really bad right now so I’m super worried about that for her#but she’s not that old really so I feel like I’m over reacting and#-and no one else is acting concerned over this like. it makes me so fucking panicked ???#uhm. irl on here that is currently staying at my house ignore this im normal and not freaking out about my mama so it’s fineee
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the only person who matches my freak as i touch my reflection and whisper “am i normal” into the big gym mirror is the guy in the corner who only does weights and makes strange grunting noises every time he moves
#okay so im doing an Everything set at the gym and im there for maybe#45 mins? and i start feeling like lowkey kinda faint and really hungry and blood sugar lowy and i want to stick to working out for about#another hour and a half SO BAD but i feel so ick that i stop to go downstairs to get a snack and I’m like so icked out by myself bc it’s li#like literally EW i don’t even have the self control to stop eating to finish my SET?? and the reason why i decided to go eat is because i#had blood drawn today for like the first time in ages so i was worried if i didn’t get food i might actly like be really sick and im on my#period so im alr not at 100% and i didn’t think I’d be able to finish 1 and a half more hours feeling so faint#but then im like those are all just excuses ur self control is SHIT#I tried to get like nutritious shit I got a protein drink a yoghurt cup and a like one serving bag of chips which YEAH not very healthy but#the store only had a couple of options and I knew if I didn’t have something a little savoury I’d binge more later and Actually have no sel#control… so yeah ❤️ now I’m back finishing my set and regeeeting my life choices YIPEEEE
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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I wish I just knew when/if I did something wrong
#the truest repairman posts#I’m probably making a big deal out of notjing but hey ho this is tumblr what is it for if not. Ranting about your emotions#A little too personally#I’m glad my cat is here honestly because I’d probably be reacting worse if she wasn’t here#I won’t remember this in a month so I don’t need to worry about it jaw clenched hands shaking#I guess I should have expected this I mean what’s the point of feeling like you’ve done something wrong and being upset when it’s confirmed#I just wish I knew what because now it’s the triple element of#If I did something wrong feeling guilty for that#If I didn’t and someone is just upset with me feeling guilty for causing that#And if someone is just a dick not caring about what they say but immediately worrying that by brushing it off as some shitty comment im#Ignoring someone who I actually upset#I shouldn’t get this worked up over something it’s 100% because I’m so tired#I was just already feeling so shit and then it was just confirmed like that… I wish I had someone to talk to now even so I could feel like#Haven’t upset EVERYONE at least#God I hope someone was just being a dick so I can stop giving a fuck#I’m too old to get upset like this man#Sorry for the long tags ig#Vent#Yeah we’re getting there I’d say#Probably should have tagged my like. One other post as vent too
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